Throwing a Rope to New Mamas

I came across an article in Huffington Post this week that really struck me.

The Day Someone Threw Me a Rope

If you're a new mama, or have ever been a new mama, I think it's hard not to read it without a little emotion. Not that it's meant to be sad - it's a beautiful article about how important support is during motherhood! But, for me at least, it took me back to some of those really scary, really overwhelming weeks as a new mother when I could not see myself ever feeling "normal" again. When I could not handle how much I loved this little baby and how utterly confused I was at this little baby (who was obviously not as in love with me, it seemed, because he was crying all the time!!) When I knew this sweet boy was so dependent on me for everything, but I felt completely inadequate to keep him fed/happy/alive. Looking back this might all seem really silly or dramatic, but, in the midst of those first few weeks, these things all weighed so heavily on me!

Fortunately, like this article said, I had good friends (and my own Mama) to throw me a rope.  Funny enough, the veteran mamas who helped the most were the ones who would laugh off my melt downs and say "what, so he cries all the time?! YEP! That sounds normal to me!"  "What, a nursing strike? Those rascals will do that sometimes and it's totally normal."  Something about hearing them say "normal" and express these things that I found so nerve-wracking in a nonchalant manner talked me off the ledge.  Convinced me that, one day, I might be able to go with the flow without completely wigging out about every single thing.

And one of the BEST things I did during this time was join Pierce Yoga's postpartum class. Similar to the article's author, it took a near act of God to get us out of the house that first day and to the class (this was Week 5, or, as I like to call it, "when all hell broke loose".) But it was one of the only public places where I felt "safe" with JB.  I could nurse him in public without a nervous breakdown.  (His reflux made him a terribly fussy nurser, and to an outsider it was hard to determine if I was actually feeding him or torturing him.)  If he was crying, he was probably in good company with the 20 other babies.  If I had silly questions, they were welcome (and never laughed at) during our tea and talking at the end of class. This class was definitely a rope - and it gave me back some confidence (and maybe a little bit of sanity!) 

Today I was lucky enough to spend some time with a few ladies from my yoga class. Our babies are bigger, we have all survived newbornhood, and it was good to compare notes about what was "normal" (and lower my anxiety levels a bit.)

New buds

Don't get me wrong - I am so grateful for every single day with JB (even those difficult ones in the first few months). But I am also super grateful for all the ladies out there who helped me see through the hard times so I could enjoy all the good times.  :)

The Olympics!

Well, ice dancing and women's figure skating are now in the books for the Sochi Olympics, so that means I can now go to bed at a reasonable hour.  I was getting particularly annoyed at ole Bob Costas the last few days, when he would say "and coming up, figure skating!" but never mean it.  He would say it over and over between the hours of 7PM and 10:30PM…when finally skating would actually begin!  Seriously, who can stay up that late to watch skating!?

And, while I am complaining, I did not enjoy having to employ all my mad avoidance skills to hide from the final results that were plastered everywhere in the afternoon.  I am one of those people who, despite the time zone of the Olympic games, wants to watch things in Eastern Standard Time.  I get very angry about this! After CNN sent me a special alert at noon to tell me that the women's gymnastic team won gold in London, I immediately deleted the app in protest and even posted a mean comment online.  This year, I was prepared and knew all the websites to avoid...or so I thought.  As the women's free skate finally came up last night - at 10:30pm, geez! - it was time to drag myself up to my office to pump. I decided to live stream the performances so I wouldn't miss a thing, only to have the podium picture pop up the moment I went onto NBC's website. GRRRR - I was not staying up past my bedtime for my health, people!! I closed my eyes as quickly as I could, but it was too late.  I knew who I saw.  Why, NBC, why?!

I still watched till the end because I think Yuna Kim is an absolutely beautiful skater.  It was a good thing I did, too, because now I can weigh in on the whole gold/silver controversy* that the Today show informed me was brewing...

Source

(*My feelings on the "controversy", I get that Adelina landed more jumps, but she stumbled on one of them!  Yuna was absolute perfection, and I just think perfection deserves a gold.  Scott Hamilton was quite clear that those who don't understand the scoring system need to keep their opinion to themselves, so I'll just leave it at that…)

Now, watching hours of Olympics until my favorite events came on meant I did learn to appreciate many of the winter sports I hadn't paid attention to before.  Women's super pipe. The alpine events. Skeleton. I found these events highly entertaining, so glad I tuned in!

Truthfully, I probably won't watch that much more.  I don't really get into speed skating or hockey.  Bobsledding might lure me in, but I'm a little bummed that the Jamaican underdogs are out.  (Funny story, James asked me the other day "hey, did you know there was a Jamaican bobsled team". Um, HELLO, Cool Runnings!! I don't think James saw a movie in the 80s and 90s, because his cinematic knowledge from that era is seriously lacking.)

Hope everyone has a great weekend, and enjoys the last few days of the Olympics!

Our President's Day Date

Yet another Monday holiday for me! I don't recall Big D, my former company, observing any holiday between New Year's and Memorial Day, so the fact that Big Pfi gives us two within these first two months is a real treat.

Last month, I spent MLK Day on a day date with big James.  Yesterday, I spent President's Day with my little James Benjamin (plus Enda). And we had a great day.

I had been collecting a good list of errands for my day off, and I am happy we got through most of them.  I timed our departure from the house around JB's first "normal" morning nap, hoping he'd snooze through our errands.  As I planned, he was out like a trout the moment we cleared the driveway...but woke up as soon as the car stopped at our first destination (Penzy's).  Fortunately, he seemed content enough to chill out and observe while Mama smelled all the spices.

Spicy curry, Mama? Really? Are you trying to kill me?!

If you have not tried Penzy's spices, I highly recommend.  Super quality, wonderful blends, and reasonable prices. There are stores in many cities, or you can get their catalog (which I did for years before they opened one in Atlanta). I buy things in bulk, and, admittedly, I buy a lot.  Spices are one of my weaknesses.

Bulk is Best

After Penzy's, I pressed my luck and headed down the shopping center to Trader Joe's.  Again, JB did just great, observing and "talking" to me and playing with his Sophie giraffe.  (Funny story - he has learned how to squeak the Sophie, although it still surprises him every time he does it.  Endless entertainment for Mama.)

Don't you get too close to that dairy, Mama...

A little meltdown ensued the moment we got back in the car, and of course we hit every single red light between the shopping center and our 'hood.  JB hates red lights, HATES THEM.  All that angry crying resulted in a conked out baby, so I took advantage by heading to yet another shopping center with stores that I needed to execute my list:  Michael's and Sally's.

Unfortunately, JB's car seat did not fit (safely) in the shopping cart, so he, essentially, became my shopping cart.  Being a Mama requires you to be resourceful. 

I then headed over to Sally's to find my favorite nail product.  Not only did they have the Gelous product, it was also on sale.  SCORE.  Folks have me so paranoid since y'all tell me it's permanently out of stock at your Sally's, so I went ahead and purchased two.   (And, yes, I still paint my nails every week, even with a 4 month old.  It's one of the many irrational things that I do.) 

This guy is too little to complain about holding my purse...

Throughout all these errands, I had my fearless co-pilot.  Not only did she keep me company during the drive, but she also did not get into my Trader Joe's sacks while JB and I hit up the second shopping center.  She was either too busy protecting the car while we were gone, or is finally understanding what "leave it" really means.  (I'm going to bet on the former...)

Must. Keep. Watch.

After we got back to the house, had lunch, and played a while, I decided to take advantage of the fan-ta-stic weather and head to the park.  This is JB (on the left) as we crossed the threshold of our front door, and this is JB (on the right) the moment we cleared the driveway.  Took him all of 30 seconds to be out for his afternoon nap (which lasted only 35 minutes, whyyyyyyy?)  

But I don't want to go...to....zzzzzzz

Enda got to play at the park (off leash - don't tell her Dad), while I got to soak up some sun and reflect on the beautiful day.  And our beautiful child.  And our beautiful life.  So thankful for a little holiday to allow me time to do that.  :)

Happy Valentine's Day

The weather this week might have been icy and cold and miserable, but this little fellow sure does warm our hearts today!

Here's hoping everyone's day was filled with love, loved ones, and lots of chocolate.  

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

Prepping for Snowmaggedon 2.0

And it's happening again.  Snow, ice, mayhem - all heading down South to Atlanta.

Well, at least we think.  Everyone is being very non-committal (could be rain, ice, snow, or blizzard...anytime from Tuesday to Thursday) while at the same time being ubber cautious, less we repeat the same mistakes from Snowmaggedon two weeks ago. To show how the Sassers are preparing, I thought I'd share with you a little story:

So yesterday I decided to quickly hit up our neighborhood Publix in case this storm pans out. I grabbed my prepared menu/list for the week, and headed out the door at 4PM.  Smart thinking, right?  WRONG!  Obviously we've got to make preparing for a storm as cumbersome as the storm itself around these here parts.

James had driven my car for the day, so this meant my only mode of transportation was what I affectionately refer to as our Big A$$ Ram.  I have not been allowed to drive the truck since I "parked" it in our side driveway and took out the fence.  However - emergency people! - I had no choice but to be brave and drive it to the store. I had not anticipated that the mad dash to secure supplies had already begun (48 hours before the storm), and there were only TWO parking spaces in the entire parking lot, both of which were teeny tiny.  After some tears, perspiration, and cursing,  I decided to go for the less risky spot on the end.  I did take out two cones to the left, but I think we can agree this was better than side swiping the Audi to the right.

Once inside, I had to fight:  fight for a cart, fight for the last carton of chicken broth, fight for my life.  Publix was already out of most everything fresh (veggies, fruit, etc), and people were starting to go all Supermarket Sweep in the meat aisle.  I realized my meal planning was in vain, as I came up empty handed for nearly half my list.  I thought my luck was turning around when I saw fish sticks were BOGO (yes!), but was sad to see the particular brand used milk in the batter (boo!)

Finally I felt confident we had enough random food for 5 days of decent meals, but loaded up on some wine just in case things got too dicey over the week. I headed to check out, waited approximately 15 minutes in line, and finally got up to the front.  The gentleman in front of me was arguing over the price of ground turkey breast, and asked for the meat supervisor.  Now, don't get me wrong, I am constantly questioning how prices ring up.  But with the line and the wait and the impending disastrous storm, I would have probably let them charge me up to 500% for turkey and been done with it.  But not him.  Which was smart because the meat guy came up with a ground turkey in hand to say that, yes, in fact, it was on sale for $4.99 a pound!  I had been thinking ground turkey would be good, so I offered to take it off the manager's hands.  And then the jackass  gentleman in front of me - who was already smug for saving $3.00 on turkey - said, "well, maybe I want that one, too".

UGH, whatever, no turkey; but I had my groceries and my wine so I was good, right?  Guess what I did not have?  MY ID!  Which would have normally been okay except that the checkout girl decided I looked over 10 years younger than I actually am.  Aw, such a sweet girl (who was refusing to sell me the one thing that was making this shopping trip not a total waste.)  Fortunately another manager nearby vouched for me, and I was on my way.

I managed to get home in one piece, and did not hit anything (of importance) when I parked the Ram on the street (and on top of our green recycle bin and lawn bags).

So, if this storm hits, don't y'all worry about us.   We'll be okay.  We're prepared. We've got wine!!

Weekend with my Gals

Are there many things better than a girls' weekend?  Don't get me wrong, I love, love, LOVE my Sasser boys, but sometimes it's just good to spend some time with the ladies.  Amen?

Back during my consulting heyday, I was on the best project EVER with the best team EVER with the best client EVER (who I now work for, so obviously things worked out well).  I've been very fortunate to have made very good friends on many projects over the years, but this group of Deloitte gals is a special one.  So, despite the fact that we have not all worked together in many years, we still get together to re-live old times.  In 2012 we went to Fort Lauderdale, and had a blast getting pampered in the spa.  And maybe eating and drinking a little more than we should.  This year, dynamics were a little different since we allowed a couple of handsome men to tag along to our girls' trip.

Tyler John and James Benjamin.  Heartbreakers-in-Training

The girls were sweet enough to actually travel down to Atlanta, and instead of hotels we split up among my house and another gal's house.  It meant lots of time lounging in PJs, staying up late gossiping, and snacks galore.  Can't get much better than that!  We also threw in some foot massages, a taqueria, and a trip to one of my favorite Atlanta restaurants, JCT Kitchen. Plus spent lots of time loving on the little ones.  These boys never had it so good!

I also gotta brag on my big guy, who held down the fort at home while the girls had fun.  On Friday night, James smoked some wonderful meat, PLUS waited on us and cleaned up all the dishes and kitchen so we could enjoy time talking (and talking and talking).

Smoked meat, cheese grits, rice delicious, and green beans -
Welcome to the South, ladies!

On Saturday night, James babysat BOTH KIDDOS so that Jen and I could enjoy a late evening at JCT.  We came home to find him on the couch with both video monitors in hand, babies snoozing away, and the situation 100% under control.  He even had the good sense to warn us via text that there were police outside our house (fender bender on the street), but that it had nothing to do with our baby boys.  Such a keeper.

I can't believe a trip that has been in the works for so long has come to an end!  I love and miss these girls so much, and I can't wait for the next weekend we're all together.  Whether we spend it with champagne flutes in hand or babies in arms (or both at the same time), we know how to make it a GREAT time.

James Benjamin - Four Months Old!

James Benjamin is FOUR MONTHS OLD!

(Quick sidenote: Although JB turned 4 months old on January 29th, I waited to post this until today, February 3rd, in order to get his measurements at the doctor.  Incidentally, today marks one year since we found out we were pregnant with little James Benjamin. On that day, we could not have even imagined an actual baby, a baby boy, and this beautiful blessing that brings us overwhelming joy every day.  Your steadfast love, O LORD, extends to the heavens, your faithfulness to the clouds.  Psalms 36:5)

This fourth month has been a lot of fun.  We've been getting lots of smiles and interaction - and also some real laughs!  The first time I got a good chuckle from him we were playing on the floor.  I had Pandora radio blaring in the background (which I normally do), and was singing my heart out (which I also do when no one is there to hear me).  JB decided that my crooning away to Bryan Adam's Heaven was absolutely hysterical.  The cheesier I got, the more he laughed. This has become our favorite new thing to do.  His face lights up as soon as the music comes on.

We think little JB is finally feeling better.  Is it age, the meds, or the dairy-free diet?  I don't know, but we aren't changing a thing.  Another change in JB this month - he is content to just sit and watch.  He'll hang out in the Rock-n-Play while we cook; curiously watch me get ready in the morning (he's fascinated by the noise from the hair dryer or my electric toothbrush); or lay on his activity mat, kicking and playing by himself. I love the confidence and independence that he's showing right now!   Although I've excitedly pulled out all the age-appropriate toys and chew rings for him, all he wants right now are his hands - or our hands - in his mouth.  The poor kid has callouses forming on his thumbs and fingers.

Although it was a rocky transition for him as Mama went back to work, JB was a real champ and has adjusted so well.  He enjoys his Nanny, no longer fights her with bottle, and seems to love all the 1:1 attention and playtime he gets during the day.  Now, our precious boy still doesn't do well if anything rocks his little boat, and can be a bit inflexible with a change in routine or with different people.  This trait helps to confirm that he is my child (since, looks wise, he completely favors his Daddy).

So here we go - his four month stats!

JB's Measurements:

• Weight: 13 lbs, 10 oz  (20th percentile)
• Height: 24 1/2 inches  (25th percentile)

At 4 Months Old, JB...

...Eats every 2 - 2.5 hours, but we are trying to stretch out his feedings a bit.  Thankfully he is now able to go back and forth between the bottle and nursing, although he still shows a definite preference for the latter.  Almost 99% of the time he will only drink 3 ounces from the bottle during the day, so I believe he's still consciously holding out for the real thing at night.

...Sleeps...well, he could sleep better (not gonna lie!)  This month was a major regression in the sleep department, with frequent nighttime wake-ups because he wants to nurse, needs to be flipped back over, or just wants to cuddle.  Naps are still super short.  However, I'm accepting things as-is, because I know it won't be like this forever.  But let's highlight some positives around sleeping: he transitioned from swaddles to sleep sacks without an issue (YEA!); is fully transitioned to his crib at night and for most naps (YEA!); and went easy on us when we started putting him to bed awake (i.e. minimal whimpers/cries before nodding off to sleep on his own - THANK YOU, JB!)  Our pedi says it's time to start sleep training for nighttime wake-ups, so fingers crossed that goes well, too.

...Wears mostly 3 - 6 month clothes, although some 3 month clothes still fit (particularly pants).  He has a longer torso and shorter legs, so I'm learning to buy clothes accordingly.  He has moved up to Size 2 diapers.

...Loves funny faces; kisses; chewing on his hands; when Mama sings 90's power ballads to him; hanging out with his parents; playing on his back; "standing"; "talking"; bath time (especially lotion/baby massage after the bath)

...Does not enjoy when something rocks his boat.  At this point, it's hard to pinpoint something specific  that he doesn't like.  He's usually pretty content, but then something will happen (wardrobe change, nursing him on the wrong side, strapping him in his stroller - things he's normally okay with?)  and he'll turn into scary, angry baby JB.

...Has mixed emotions about Enda - he is still not down with all her kisses, but is starting to take time to watch and acknowledge her. He even smiled at her the other day.  Closer to being BFFs?

Fourth Month Milestones:

• First laugh
• Rolls back to front (but only at night in his crib, still waiting on this during playtime!)
• Grips toys and brings to mouth

Resisting our best efforts for a smile.

Month Four - loving all the laughs, smiles, and daily changes from this little rascal!  Every day is a new adventure, and we love it!

iPhone Photos

Previous Updates on JB:

• Birth Story
• One Month
• Two Months
• Three Months