No Puppies, Please!

Our little Enda girl is home!  Poor thing has spent the last two days at the vet’s office, following her spay procedure on Wednesday.  Obviously a very routine – and necessary – surgery, and I’m sure she’ll recover just fine.   Even though she was only seven months old, I wasted no time in getting her spayed because a litter of Vizslas running through our house was something the human Sassers would not be able to recover from.  Well, and Carmen and Lupe would probably just give up on life at that point….

I’m a little worried how she is going to make it through her recovery, due to the fact that recovery includes being calm, being inactive, and being in her crate.  Three things Enda hates.  In fact, I’ve been very concerned since the moment the vet told me yesterday that they would NOT be sending her home with any sedatives.  Now, I’m not usually one for drugging my dog, but the idea of keeping her quiet (for her own safety, mind you) seems like an impossible task!

When I picked her up today at lunch, I again (very sweetly) inquired about a sedative.  Here’s a little recap of how that went down:

Me: Is there anything I can give to calm her down while she is cooped up in her crate, recovering?

Vet Tech:  No, we don’t provide anything.   But the pain meds she’ll take the next two days should help - it’s a mild sedative!

Me: Hum…okay, well I’m a little worried about keeping her quiet – how long do we have to avoid all activity?

VT: Just two weeks.

Me:  TWO WEEKS!?  Are you out of your MIND!? 

At this fortunate moment, Enda bursts through the waiting room door, causing the assistant to lose hold of her leash.  She proceeds to jump up on me, run greet every single person in the waiting room, jump up in a chair, jump off a chair, lay a fat kiss on a Jack Russell Terrier (who was freaking out at the sight of her bounding towards him), then run back over to me…

Me:  Two weeks, you say?  Can I please have some mild sedatives?

VT:  Yes, two full weeks.  And, no, we don't provide them.

Me:  …Please….

VT: No, ma’am…but remember, the pain killers do have a mild sedation effect!

Me:  …okay….has she had one today?

VT: Oh, yes ma’am!  She had her dose about an hour ago.

Me: …okay…DOES SHE LOOK SEDATED TO YOU!?!?!?!

At this point, I quietly lay my head down on the counter to demonstrate my feelings of hopelessness toward this situation.  Enda, to the rescue again, took that quick moment of conversation to chew through her beautiful Elizabethan collar.  They took her back to get a new plastic collar, and came back with a full prescription of sedatives.  J

"Elizabethan?  Aw, give me a challenge, will ya!?"

(Contemplating how she'll get out of this one...)

That plastic collar did manage to stay on for the car ride home, but when I just went to check on the dog child I saw this:

"Collar?? I don't need no stinkin' collar..."

So….plastic collar = fail.   I’ve created a new way to attach it to her real collar, so hopefully it works.

The only positive part of this experience so far has been that they did not cut away her belly button! Enda was born with a major outtie belly button that is pretty much adorable.  Truth be told, James and I considered asking the vet to try to keep her belly button during the surgery…then we stopped ourselves, slapped each other for being so ridiculous, and returned to being normal human beings.   

Were we really going to ask a vet to change her surgical technical to preserve a belly button?  On a DOG!?  Omg, WHO ARE WE?!   This is why we need a human child soon, because we’re very quickly approaching that “crazy pet parent” line…

Oh, and on that note…I hear the sound of crunching plastic…